Learning English can be a bit mind boggling sometimes...
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
(I don't know about you...but this lift ride sounds very difficult)
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
(I wonder what kind of hotel this is...hehehe)
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
(errr....)
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
(I think I order the ordinary cheese sandwich...please)
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
From the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
(I thought the revolution is over...)
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
(err...naked?)
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:
Stop: Drive Sideways.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
(pregnant lady...out!)
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
At a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
(err.. I like my bag to go one one direction only...with me)
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.
(wow..very special)
In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
(police?... anyone?... help)
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
(different sex..for example? is there any other gender?)
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
Learning preserves the errors of the past, as well as its wisdom. For this reason, dictionaries are public dangers, although they are necessities. ~Alfred North Whitehead
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