Husband of the Year Award

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.-Helen Rowland Honorable Mention: UK Honorab...

How to catch an Elephant in Africa

*MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. * ...

Jokes: Things you don't want to hear during surgery

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.-Rita Rudner "Better...

Funny English Signs

What is the shortest word in the English language that contains the letters: abcdef? Answer: feedback. Don't forget that feedback is on...

Shrewd

....the 20th century has been characterized by three developments of great political importance: The growth of democracy, the growth of corp...

Acronym

Change in all things is sweet. -Aristotle Remember my earlier post about how the world of programming has the tendency to come up with wie...

Two new additions to periodic table of elements

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. -Oscar Wilde Element name: WOMAN Symb...

7 things that would happen if you were a computer

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.- Isaac Asimov You could add/remove someone in your life...

Barometer and the Height of skycrapper

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.-Dave Barry The ...

Airlines running operating systems

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.-Stephen Wright Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if a...

Flight Announcement pt 2

The process of scientific discovery is, in effect, a continual flight from wonder.- Albert Einstein "As you exit the plane, make sure t...

Flight Announcements

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it-Henry Ford "There may...

Father now and then

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby Let's celebrate Father's Days of our new millenniu...

Addiction always cost

She goes from one addiction to another. All are ways for her to not feel her feelings.- Ellen Burstyn No matter what type of addiction you ...

The Rebate Irony

Plato once said ' The value of decision is based on knowladge on not on numbers'. To bad we didn't learn philosophy at school. ...

The Teacher, The Thief and The Laywer

A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortun...

Let's Talk

Beauty without expression is boring- Ralph Waldo A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the g...

Chemistry is boring

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it - Adam San...

Computer Dictionary

640K: The salary the average Wall Street PC analyst pulls in each year. Algorithm: A catchy 1930 song by George and Ira Gershwin . Availabil...

The Less You Know the More You Make

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. ~Farmer's Almanac, 1978 " Salary Theorem" states that ...